To boldly Go ...

[Christian & Doris Schmill <schmills_bEi_forfree.at>]

July 31, 1998

Hi, guys,

Hier is etwas was ich von meine Us e-pals bekommen hab. Hubby und ich
amusierte es sehr. vielleicht ja auch euch ein bisschen. ;-)

ach ja, hab ich es bei meinr vorstellung hier erwaehnt? Ich bin ein Trekkie
... <g>

So, read on, enjoy, and 

Live long and prosper!

Doris ;-)




>>
>>
>>     "Star Trek: The Lost Episode" Transcript
>>
>>
>>
>>     Picard: Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at
>>     finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to
>>     access their command pathways?
>>
>>     Geordi: Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching
>>     through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology.
>>
>>     (Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.
>>     Riker looks puzzled.)
>>
>>     Riker: What the hell is 'Microsoft'?
>>
>>     (Data turns to answer.)
>>
>>     Data: Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason
>>     called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their
>>     root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an
>>     unstoppable rate.
>>
>>     Picard: But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their
>>     processing systems to increase their storage capacity?
>>
>>     Data: Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new
>>     version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources
>>     increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able
>>     to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability
>>     will be taken over and none will be available for their normal
>>     operational functions.
>>
>>     Picard: Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable
>>     geometric shape' idea.
>>
>>     . . . 15 Minutes Later . . .
>>
>>     Data: Captain, we have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the
>>     Borg's command unit. As expected, it immediately consumed 85% of all
>>     available resources. However, we have not received any confirmation of
>>     the expected 'upgrade.'
>>
>>     Geordi: Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and
>>     CPU capacity, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to
>>     compensate for their increase.
>>
>>     Picard: Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is
>>     something we have missed.
>>
>>     Data: Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the
>>     'upgrade.' Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the
>>     plan by not sending in their registration cards.
>>
>>     Riker: Captain, we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin
>>     emergency escape sequence 3F ....
>>
>>     Geordi, excited: Wait, Captain! Their CPU capacity has suddenly
>>     dropped to 0%!
>>
>>     Picard: Data, what do your scanners show?
>>
>>     Data, studying displays: Apparently the Borg have found the internal
>>     'Windows' module named 'Solitaire,' and it has used up all available
>>     CPU capacity.
>>
>>     Picard: Let's wait and see how long this 'Solitaire' can reduce their
>>     functionality.
>>
>>     . . . Two Hours Pass . . .
>>
>>     Riker: Geordi, what is the status of the Borg?
>>
>>     Geordi: As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to
>>     compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they
>>     successfully increase resources I have set up our closest deep space
>>     monitor beacon to transmit more 'Windows' modules from something
>>     called the 'Microsoft Fun-pack.'
>>
>>     Picard: How much time will that buy us?
>>
>>     Data: Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest
>>     time span of six more hours.
>>
>>     Geordi: Captain, another vessel has entered our sector.
>>
>>     Picard: Identify.
>>
>>     Data: It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft'
>>     logo...
>>
>>     Over the speakers: THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT
>>     FLAGSHIP _MONOPOLY_. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED
>>     SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY
>>     TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO COMPLY.
>>
>>     Data: The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released
>>     thousands of humanoid-shaped objects.
>>
>>     Picard: Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!
>>
>>     Riker: My God, captain! Those are human beings floating straight
>>     toward the Borg ship -- with no life support suits! How can they
>>     survive the tortures of deep space?!
>>
>>     Data: I don't believe that those are humans, sir. If you will look
>>     closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something
>>     recognized by twenty-first century man as doeskin leather briefcases,
>>     and wearing Armani suits.
>>
>>     Riker and Picard, together -- horrified: Lawyers!!
>>
>>     Geordi: It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling
>>     into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening.
>>
>>     Data: True, but appearently some must have survived.
>>
>>     Riker: They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all
>>     types of papers.
>>
>>     Data: I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red tape.' It
>>     often proves fatal.
>>
>>     Riker: They're tearing the Borg to pieces!
>>
>>     Picard: Turn the monitors off, Data, I can't bear to watch. Even the
>>     Borg don't deserve such a gruesome death!
>>
>>
>>
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